soap

looking back, i used to go to youth group events that centered around messy games. i can recall radiating at my coronation as the dirtiest, and not wanting to shower that away when i got home. i loved the feeling of scrubbing raw egg yolks in my hair and moisturizing my legs with pudding. it was so freeing to be an extremist, and i never wanted those moments to disappear. no matter how much fruit punch was dribbling from my head into my eyes. i felt a need to stay there forever, and i knew that in the blink of an eye, it would all be gone.
that freedom; the deep connection with reckless abandon in my tender preteen years seems so distant now. being dirty, in every way, is frowned upon. instead of clinging to the dirt, i linger in the shower; feeling clean, careless, and in control.
times have changed. will any of us ever be truly clean? there are instances in all our lives that tarnish us. i used to cherish my faults, but society is so wrapped up in a false sense of purity that i now love my soap just as much as anyone else who cares too much about what people think.